To the College Student Separated from their High School BFFs

Words by Rianna Bernabe

We can all agree that things were so much simpler in high school. We had semi-permanent classmates, a fixed schedule, and an established lunch table. We would see our friends in the same building for eight hours everyday, and we were exposed to the same environment for four years.

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To the college freshmen reading this, we’re here to tell you that it’s completely normal to fall out from your “OG” high school barkada as everyone gets closer to their new block. To the sophomores, we know it’s so hard to make that reunion happen. To the juniors, we understand how much you miss your high school friends as you’re no longer updated with what’s been going on in their lives. And to the seniors, here’s what you should know by now.

College is the chapter for growing up, and growing up involves a lot of coming and going.

The hardest thing to understand is how not all beautiful things are meant to last forever. That once the universe starts edging us and the things closest to us to different paths, we will do everything we can to rewrite our roads. We will do all it takes to cling on to it, hold it close, in the hopes that the universe was mistaken.

But the universe was not mistaken. Some things and some people were meant to cross our paths for a designated time. But that time is terminable, and when that time is up, they will leave. We have to accept the brutal truth that there is a certain tangency to all things which make them all the more beautiful. That way, we’d learn to cherish them more while they’re there and be grateful for the time they have been with you.

You would often think that you did something wrong for you to feel this isolated, abandoned, or forgotten. When in fact, it’s entirely human nature for people to outgrow others without any particular reason.

But your real friends will always be there no matter how occupied they get.

If you were separated because you chose different universities, courses, or because either of you had to move away, it is a no-brainer that the culture and atmosphere will change for all of you. You can either let that be the source of learning new things from one another, or of moving on and being happy that though they may no longer be near you, you know that they will be far in their dreams.

Maybe you are so caught up in being miserable, thinking about your high school friends and how they are living their lives without you, that you don’t even pay attention to your own life and realize how you are changing as well.

There comes a point when we need to let go of everything that our happiness depends on and learn to be happy with ourselves first.

This might be the fairytale ending we were brainwashed with when we were kids. It’s not about having a happily ever after once you step out of high school. It’s about the memories you’ve made, which will forever be untouchable, and the process of individual growth in keeping low maintenance friendships. That no matter how many miles, years, and time zones apart, you know in your heart that you all still love each other the same.

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