Things Jose Mari Chan does after Christmas

Jose Mari Chan and Christmas go together so well that once the -ber months hit, we look for his songs ASAP. He’s like everyone’s favorite seasonal lolo, coming ’round just in time for the holidays to spread the holiday cheer. But what happens when Christmas is over? What does he do? Where does he go? Does he still see girls and boys selling lanterns on the street??

Here are our post-Christmas theories.

7. Is an undercover agent for the CIA

This makes sense because we hardly hear from him after December. He very promptly returns to his CIA cover and solves crime while undercover. It’s either he’s flying under the radar with a new identity or he’s proudly gracing his peers at his intelligence division with his cool intellect and lovely voice. Man, what a guy.

6. Fights with the Avengers

Another reason we don’t hear from him! He’s out fighting global threats on the daily, putting a stop to earth-ending villains and aliens from a faraway galaxy. He joins forces with some of our faves–Captain America, Black Widow, Iron Man, Hawkeye, etc.–and puts a stop on anyone who could potentially wipe out the entire planet. It’s true that nothing is as strong as the spirit of Christmas.

5. Joins body-building competitions

Obviously, he’s getting ripped. All those holiday meals took a toll on all of us, even someone as immortal as Jose Mari Chan. So to shed all of that post-Christmas (since ‘New Year, New Me’ is always in-fashion), JMC is all about the #gainslife. The grind never stops for our favorite Christmas crooner. I’m sure he’s out there inspiring millions with how quickly he can bulk up and flex those muscles.

4. Discovers cures for sicknesses

Orrrr he’s in a lab, saving our souls not just spiritually (with his holiday jams) but also physically. He’s a dedicated scientist, mixing chemicals and shaking test tubes in order to eliminate the world’s deadliest diseases. He’s here to remind us that Christmas gifts aren’t the only gifts, but the gift of a healthy life is also amazing. He really goes above and beyond.

3. Redecorates his mansion

After touching the lives of generation upon generation, his album sales must’ve racked him a fortune, enough to purchase the finest art furniture for his humble abode. That’s a lot to sift through and fix so our theory is he’s so wrapped up in re-arranging and fixing things that he spends all year until Christmas comes around to redecorate!

2. Figures out how to stay immortal

While sipping wine from a gilded goblet, he probably ruminates on his immortality and how he can keep extending it. My theory? The more people that sing his songs every year, the stronger he becomes. It’s a cycle, one we must feed for all eternity.

1. Goes back into cryogenic sleep

Once he’s done with all of those things and still has time before September–er, December (but really September)–he goes back into cryogenic sleep. As soon as the -ber months hit, they start to melt him and wake him up for another holiday season. Good morning, Jose Mari Chan! Merry Christmas!

Do you have other theories on what he does post-Christmas? Tell us!

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