Does Astrology Really Dictate How Successful Your Relationship Will Be?

In grade school, we would spend countless recess breaks playing with origami fortune tellers hoping beyond hope that it would tell us we were bagay with our crush. Class times would be for sneakily passing around games of M.A.S.H until it gave us the future we longed for. Our desires might have changed, and our crushes may be different, but one thing stays the same: our willingness to take a leap of faith in matters of the heart. Only now, our method has sophisticated into using star signs and birth charts.

Since so many people nowadays seem to be obsessed with the planets being in retrograde and astrology creating star-crossed lovers we have to ask: Does astrology really dictate how successful your romantic relationship will be?

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(Do you believe in astrology?)

Of course, to the skeptics, the answer is a resounding “no”. But I’m not a skeptic. In fact, I’m a big believer in astrology…who also acknowledges that it has its limits.

However, I am no expert (not even close to it). So let’s first take a look at what an expert has to say about astrological compatibility. Certified Professional Consulting Astrologer Diana Brownstone, who has been practicing astrology for nearly 40 years, claims that astrology suffers from oversimplification. Because people have a tendency to focus only on their sun signs, they often receive misreadings or misinterpreted messages — especially when it comes to love.

“You can’t just determine someone’s personality by 12 choices. For instance, you might read your horoscope [if you’re an Aries], and because you have five planets in Aries, you really resonate with it. However, if you’re an Aries and you have five planets in Pisces, you say to yourself ‘no way am I this assertive,’” Brownstone explains.

Simply put, your sun signs are only one part of your birth chart. Your moon sign, rising sign, lunar nodes, and the positions of your planets in “houses” are the full sum of who you are. Of course, you would need to compare your truest self to another in order to accurately gauge the chances of a relationship working out.

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(Written in the Stars: How My Obsession with Astrology Helped My Mental Health)

According to Brownstone, our sun signs indicate a “basic affinity” with other signs. It is typically signs of the same element (fire, earth, air, water) or complementary elements that get along well with each other. However, opposing elements often discover attraction.

Moon signs, which govern our inner needs, speaks of emotional compatibility between signs. It is all about “getting your needs met.” While the rising sign, your general first impression, dictates initial attraction. Lunar nodes get a little more vague, with it referring to the points by which your paths cross.

While the premise is to say that the more information you have, the more accurate your relationship predictions can be…it’s still not an exact science. Our different signs may be able to measure compatibility, attraction, and all the aforementioned but is that all there is to a relationship?

Initial compatibility between two individuals may shape and grow as the years pass. Awkward friends turn into unequivocal counterparts. Attraction can be developed. People’s tastes and types change. Paths can be defied and crossed on our own. After all, some LDRs do work out.

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(Please stop using your zodiac sign to justify bad behavior)

I believe that astrology does speak strongly of a basic connection between people. That it can, perhaps, pick up whether one pair of signs is more likely to find affinity than the other. But I wouldn’t go to the extent that it dictates it.

After all, people are constantly changing and evolving. What they need and want in a partner evolves alongside that. A relationship may start out with favorable readings from astrology but ultimately end up in disaster. And that’s because more than anything, a relationship takes work.

Initial compatibility is nice and all, but if you’re not willing to put in the work you may as well throw in the towel. When excitement and giddiness fade from new relationships, it’s commitment that keeps it alive. It’s commitment that sees an earth sign and an air sign through, despite their “inherent incompatibility.”

Beyond stars and feelings, love is a choice. And it is a choice you can make even if your placements are telling you to run the other way — as long as you make it together.

What do you think?