No one appreciates romance more than Filipinos. Filipino men are known to be gallant courtiers, which Filipinas adore. But while all men must go through the rigorous courtship process before they get the hand of a Filipina, there are different ways to catch women’s attention.
Social media user Ton C. compared presidential candidates Mar Roxas and Davao Mayor Rodrigo Duterte to the two common types of suitors.
According to Clemente, Mar is:
Si Mar yung parang manliligaw mo na awkward. But not the Tom Hardy o Stephen Colbert type of awkward na cute at charming. Nope. Siya yung tipong medyo mahihiya kang isama sa mga lakad ng barkada kasi baka makipag-fist bump o chest bump na naman kahit hindi naman dapat. And let’s not forget the verbal diarrhea na napapa-360 degree-eye roll ka tuwing ginagawa niya kaya tuloy nagmumukha kang cast member ng Exorcist sa harap ng barkada. But to be fair, ok naman siya. Naka-graduate naman (Econ! UPenn!), mukhang mabait, at kaya niyang buhayin ang magiging pamilya niyo pati na rin ang extended family mo. Pero yun nga siguro yung dahilan kung bakit parang nakukulangan ka. OK LANG kasi siya. Hindi siya masyado exciting. Sa isip mo, you deserve someone better! Susugal ka na rin lang, e di dun na sa “the one.” Kaya hindi mo siya masyadong pinapansin. Kumbaga, high in awareness but not exactly your top choice. Kahit andyan siya, you’re keeping your options open at naghahanap ka ng iba.
(Mar is your awkward suitor. But not the Tom Hardy o Stephen Colbert type of awkward that is cute and charming. Nope. He’s the kind you’d be embarrassed to introduce to your friends because he’ll fist bump or chest bump with them even if it’s not appropriate. And let’s not forget the verbal diarrhea he does that lets you do a 360 degree-eye roll that makes you look like a cast member of The Exorcist. But to be fair, he’s okay. He graduated from school (Econ! UPenn!), looks nice, and can support your entire family tree. But that’s probably why you don’t feel he’s enough. He’s just… okay. He’s not that exciting. You’re thinking, you deserve someone better! You’re going to take a chance, so might as well go with “the one.” That’s why you don’t notice him that much. In other words, high in awareness but not exactly your top choice. Even if he’s there, you’re keeping your options open and looking for others.)
Clemente then described Duterte as:
Tapos pasok sa eksena si Rody, ang manliligaw mong bad boy. Hindi siya yung Robin Padilla type ng bad boy though. Mas Justin Bieber, pre-Purpose post-Baby. Yung hindi na nga maginoo, sobra pang bastos. For some reason, ang lakas talaga ng appeal ng mga bad boy ano? Yung pakiramdam mo na may poprotekta sa ‘yo from the bad elements tuwing magka-date kayo. Yung pag sinabi niyang, “Tumahimik ka na,” mapapatahimik ka talaga. Yung tipong sa puso mo naniniwala ka na gagawin mo siyang project at na mababago mo siya sa bisa ng pagmamahal mo sa kanya. So you flirt with the idea na bigyan siya ng chance. At dahil ilang beses mo nang napanuod ang One More Chance, you want to stop asking “what if” and start knowing “what is.”
(And then enters Rody, your bad boy suitor. He’s not the Robin Padilla type of bad boy, more like Justin Bieber pre-Purpose, post-Baby. Not a gentleman, and is also very rude. But for some reason, bad boys have a lot of appeal, right? The kind where you feel that you will be protected from bad elements when you’re together. The type where he says “Keep quiet” and you really do keep quiet. The kind where you believe that he is your project and you can change him through your love. So you flirt the idea of giving him a chance. And because you’ve seen One More Chance so many times, you want to stop asking “what if” and start knowing “what is.”)
Until he hits you.
At first nara-rationalize mo pa e. “Siguro kasalanan ko kaya niya yun nagawa. Kasi nagsindi ako ng fireworks nung New Year kahit sabi niya wag.” O kaya, “Umuwi kasi ako ng 1AM. Napasarap ang kwentuhan ng barkada dahil despedida ng isang kaibigan. E kaso sabi niya 11pm dapat umuwi.” The hitting continues kahit wala ka namang ginagawa. Ang sinasabi mo lang, “Ganun lang talaga siya pag galit. Mabait naman yun.” Hanggang wala ka nang maidahilan at takot ka na lang sa kanya. Let’s not forget na tuwing may nasasabi sya sa yong masakit, biglang kakabig na, “ito naman di na mabiro.” At ang isang misteryong di mo masagot-sagot e nasan na kaya yung isa mo pang manliligaw na kinaiinisan niya? Hindi mo na ma-contact at hindi na rin siya nagparamdam. Dun mo na-realize na exciting lang sa umpisa, pero nakakasakal at nakakatakot pala talaga. Ayaw mo pala ng ganun. Gusto mo yung malaya ka pa rin naman kahit pano. At na safe naman sana in the process yung mga tao sa paligid mo. Dahil hindi pa huli ang lahat, naisipan mong balikan si Mar at tanungin siya kung pwede kayang siya na lang, siya na lang ulit.
(At first you rationalize it. “Maybe it’s my fault. Because I lit fireworks during New Year even if he said not to.” Or maybe, “Because I went home at 1AM. I had a lot of fun because my friend’s leaving. But he said to go home at 11pm.’ The hitting continues even if you’re not doing anything. You just say, “He’s like that when he’s angry. But he’s nice.” Until you run out of excuses and you’re just scared. Let’s not forget that when he says something hurtful, he says, “I’m just kidding.” And there’s also the mystery of your missing suitor, the one he doesn’t like. You can’t find him and he’s not making any contact. That’s when you realize that it’s only exciting at first, and you feel suppressed and you’re really scared. It turns out you don’t like it. You like being free. And that the people around you are safe. Because it’s not too late, you think of getting back with Mar.)
Clemente says this will happen next:
Siyempre tatanggapin ka niya uli. Mag-uusap kayo sa may hagdan at tatanungin mo siya, “Can you love a failure?” Sasagot siya ng, “Ako pa ba!?” At dahil wala namang iba, babalikan mo siya. Nagdadalawang-isip ka pa rin though. Kasi hindi ba para kang nag-settle? Dahil wala nang iba, siya na lang? Pero ano bang masama sa pag-“settle?” We will always “settle” naman di ba kasi there is no way na makakahanap tayo ng “best” manliligaw. It’s not as if pwede kang magpatawag ng town hall meeting, imbitahin lahat ng potential manliligaw mo at doon sila husgahan. Basta ma-meet niya ang ilan sa non-negotiables mo ok na siguro yun?
(Of course he’ll take you back. You’ll talk by the stairs and you’ll ask, “Can you love a failure?” He’ll answer, “Of course!” And because there’s no one else, you’ll get back with him. You’re having second thoughts, though. Because isn’t this settling? You’ll settle for him because there’s no one else? But what’s wrong with settling? We will always “settle” because there is no way you’ll find your “best” suitor. It’s not as if you can call a town hall meeting, invite all potential suitors and judge them there. As long as he can meet some of your non-negotiables, that’s okay, right?)
He then wrapped up his post with the truth about being with someone, both romantic and political:
Dahil na-establish na nga natin na napanuod mo na ang One More Chance, alam mo ring it takes two grown-ups to make a relationship work. So you have to pull in some weight naman in the relationship. Magpapakabait ka. Susuporta ka. Tatawid ka sa tamang tawiran ganyan. At kung talagang wala, binigo ka—tipong sumakay na naman siya sa motor na walang helmet, o nakipag- fist bump o chest bump na naman kahit hindi dapat—well, hope against all hope na someday, may darating na bagong taong hindi man maibibigay ang hinahanap natin, matatanggap naman tayo at mamahalin. Hopefully in 6 years time.
(Because we’ve already established the fact that you’ve seen One More Chance, you know it takes two grown-ups to make a relationship work. So you have to pull in some weight in the relationship. You try to be nice. You support. You’ll use the pedestrian crossing. And if it doesn’t work, if he insists on riding a motorbike without a helmet, if he fist bumps or chest bumps even if it’s not appropriate, well, hope against all hope that someday, there will come a time when we’ll meet someone who won’t give us what we want, but will accept us and love us. Hopefully in six years’ time.)
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