The thoughts, views, and opinions in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts, views, and opinions of the When in Manila community as a whole.
In a tweet that instantly went viral, Ben Tulfo claimed that rapists or sex offenders will “always” want to commit crime, regardless of anything. “All they need is an opportunity,” he says and follows up with policing how women dress because they are “inviting the beast.”
Hija @kakiep83 , a rapist or a juvenile sex offender's desire to commit a crime will always be there. All they need is an opportunity, when to commit the crime. Sexy ladies, careful with the way you dress up! You are inviting the beast.
— Ben Tulfo (@bitagbentulfo) June 13, 2020
This act of policing how women look and dress has been around for so long that it’s sickening. This draconian idea that women have to cover up in order not to be raped is disgusting, as if women’s bodies exist as inherently sexual. Women can wear whatever they please and never have to be afraid of being harassed or raped. Their bodies don’t exist as some walking sexual exhibit men can play with. What they do with how they dress, and how they look is up to them. Whatever someone wears is not an invitation to degrade them.
And sometimes, women are harassed even if they aren’t wearing something that is deemed “provocative.” Many stories that came out of the hashtag #HijaAko as a response to Ben Tulfo’s revolting tweet revealed that many of them were in pajamas, long-sleeved shirts, school uniforms. Clothing that men don’t even consider “inviting” and yet, these women are violated anyway for no reason other than the criminal was selfish. Rape happens because of rapists, not because of clothing.
https://twitter.com/mtecrml/status/1272094096501248000
(Art by Jade Antonio)
Rape happens because the rapist has malicious intent, not because a woman wants to bare her shoulders or wear shorts. Women are not sex objects. The dog-steak analogy came up again on Twitter with those defending Tulfo (if you’re not familiar, it goes “why wave a steak in front of a hungry dog and expect him not to eat it?”) and it’s stupid. Steaks don’t have agency. Steaks don’t have fear. Steaks don’t feel the trauma rushing back to them after a man touches them a certain way they’ve been touched before, triggering what frightened them in the first place. Women are not steaks. Women are not shiny watches in bad neighborhoods. Women are women.
There’s even an exhibit that shows what women were wearing when they were harassed. Many of them are just plain clothes, t-shirts, sweatpants, etc. And even if some of these clothes are short or revealing, women still aren’t asking for it. It’s never an invitation, our clothes are not us consenting to your malicious advances. Rape is never the victim’s fault. And for anyone to ask “what was she wearing?” is an insult. It doesn’t matter what she was wearing, all that it was is that someone decided to act on their selfish impulses and violate someone else–the onus is on the criminal and never the victim.
https://twitter.com/jusdani_/status/1272229640174571522
This, of course, doesn’t just happen to women either. Men and members of the LGBTQIA+ have also fallen victim to rapists and sexual deviants, getting hurt and traumatized in the process. In the #HijaAko hashtag, many of these men, transgender men and women, and other members of the LGBTQIA+ shared their own experiences of harassment, as well. And some of these stories are absolutely heartbreaking.
The point is, no one asks to be raped. And for anyone to insinuate this because of what someone wears, especially people of influence who have voices in society that other people listen to, is shameful. If you have a voice that can impact how others think and amplify the thoughts of those who think the same way, it only exacerbates and aggravates the already perpetuated problem of misogyny and rape culture so rampant in our country.
Clothes are not consent. No means no. Don’t get it twisted.
