Philippine News with our friend John O’Sullivan. John is our Senior International Peacekeeping Correspondent from Ireland who’s here to shed light and help us out with our international ties and strategies.
Problem is, that John has an irrational fear of being kidnapped in the Philippines. This of course, as we all know, is nothing but a bad stereotype that we in the Philippines, as a nation, need to overcome. We need to better our security within our country and among our people. The government must act and do a better job.
Finally, I was able to convince our Senior International Peacekeeping Correspondent, John, to come out from hiding. Only of course to be greeted by kidnappers right after he steps out.
We were kidnapped, tied up, bound and gagged. The kidnappers want One Million Peysos for John. But said will only give back Vince for what he’s worth, which according to them is nothing less than two Happy Meals from McDonalds… please help…
Happy New Year Interweb! We here are WIM would like to wish you all the best as we welcome this new year with new hope. The past year has proven to be one of intense violence and just bad juju, both locally and as well as with our international allies. Our international presence has diminished and the philippines is not receiving a lot of support from the international community. The rest of the world is frowning upon us like a Tiger Woods mistress. We have a very bad image with the rest of the world as journalist killers or corrupt money hounds. But we’re here to change all that and start the new year off right! And we’re starting right here on WhenInManila.com!
Joining us today is our Senior International Peacekeeping Correspondent John O’Sullivan!
V: John…. John… where are you….?
(John peeks out from under the desk)
V: John…? What you doing down there?
J: (whispering) Quiet or they’ll find me!!!
V: … Who’ll find you John?
J: (whispering) The KIDNAPPERS damnit!
V: … ummmm…. No John… that’s really just a bad stereotype of the Philippines…. not every foreigner who travels here gets kidnapped…
J: (whispering) oh yeah…. ok… tell that to the last Irish guy that got kidnapped!
V: What? Who? Oh you mean the Irish priest, Michael Sinnott? Well they actually let him go… so I swear it’s safe to come out John….
J: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (whispering) They only let him go because there was a Pacquiao fight! There aren’t any boxing matches anytime soon so if I get kidnapped, I’d have to wait til Pacquiao and Mayweather agree to some terms! And with the size of their egos, they ain’t gettin in a ring together til I’m as old as dirt.
V: What? John no! Get out, get out of there!
J: (finally comes out) Is it safe?
V: Yes John, it is. Do you really think that Filipino kidnappers can smell your blood or your foreign money or something? It’s really just a stereotype that we as a nation need to change in order to appeal to more tourists and to the international community and…
KIDNAPPERS STORM THE ROOM
ENDS with us tied to a chair and John goes… “I told you so”