I’ll never get over you getting over me.

It was perfect.  A romantic valentine novel that could have sold millions. That was your life together. In the maddening chaos of life, you found someone. Someone who makes you smile by sending you crazy internet memes, someone who laughs at the slightest funny quips you make. The one who tells you he loves you with your “I woke up like this” look. He posts photos of you in your many moods and never lets go of your hand because he feels cold without it. Your “the one” is standing right next to you whenever you need him. He sends you a dozen messages when he can’t get a hold of you and understands when you explain.

Your family treats him like family. Your friends can’t go a day without asking about him. “Hey, where is he? How come he’s not hanging out?” Do you know the song title ‘Two Become One’? This is your life in a song. Whether childhood friends or relationships that somehow lasted forever, this is your story. Fights that end up in romantic dinner dates then laughing at how silly you two have been.

Suddenly, the long sweet nothings become what you never thought it would be. It turned into nothing. Long hours of awaiting the next message, worried as the hours trickle by.  The phone calls that never came. Where has he gone? The Friday night date nights become nights of the “I’m swamped,”or the “Feeling kind of tired today, so maybe next time.” Until ‘next time’ becomes ‘next week’ and silence becomes your constant companion. You wonder what you did wrong. You go through the moments mystified on what went on.

“I met someone new. I’m sorry. I’m no longer in love with you.” The truth sets you free, they say; but all that was a lie.  At that moment, you felt chained. Chains of pain that you cannot let go. Torn between fighting for what you know is yours and keeping your pride intact. You are never going to beg. It’s his loss, your friends said. “He’s a waste of time,” your family said. In your mind and in your words, you can go through all of this and come out barely unscathed. You move on because that’s what everyone says you should do. Bury yourself in work, focus on your career, party hard, travel more. Life is an adventure now that you’re single.

You should be happy. You don’t need anyone to make you happy. Happiness is a decision. Your happiness does not lie in anybody else’s hands. Still, loneliness bites you in the cold of the night. Work is a constant load of never-ending Mondays. Parties are just temporary interruptions to your thoughts. The travels are filled with friendly strangers where shallow laughter is an easy bet. Counted the days, months and years, but he still lingers.

“Getting over you is not a statement for a season. Getting over you, getting over me is a tragedy that I still live through.” When you’re alone, when sunsets that used to be majestically beautiful can break your heart all over again.






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