A few years ago, I was in a relationship that was good and secure.
There was just one problem: my parents didn’t exactly like my partner.
At the time, I couldn’t understand why. Rather, I refused to know why. I was happy with him and it was my relationship anyway, not theirs. It didn’t matter to me what they thought.
But as the relationship dragged on for a couple more years, my parents’ judgment started to affect the way I viewed my partner. I couldn’t shake off the thought that they were seeing something I couldn’t see — something that bothered them, something that told their gut that he wasn’t the right match for me.
I would spend nights frustrated that my love life wasn’t as “perfect” as I had envisioned it to be. It was getting increasingly difficult to inform my parents about weekend plans my partner and I had without feeling the animosity from my parents’ reluctant approval. It was just as hard to constantly deal with the situation where he wasn’t welcome into my home (he often had to wait outside the gate). It made him terribly unhappy, and so was I.
Eventually, I broke up with my ex. There were plenty of reasons why, but there was no denying that a major factor had been my parents’ disapproval. It mattered so much because I was so closely knit with my family and valued what they thought about my decisions. It took me a while to understand that they knew that my partner wasn’t the right one for me, even before the relationship eventually took the turn for the worse — when we both realized we weren’t the right fit for each other.
Now, I’m in a relationship with someone I know I will be with for the rest of my life, and my parents love him.
Of course, it’s not always going to be the same for everybody. Some will agree to follow their parents’ wishes, while others will refuse to let their parents’ opinions affect their happiness. It all boils down to what your situation is like — what your family’s values are, and whether you choose to respect them or follow where your heart leads you.
Someone told me, “There are a lot of things we owe our parents, but choosing your partner is not one of them.” It’s still our life and only the decisions we make on our own should ever matter…but it never hurt to ask the people closest to us.
Would you ever think about ending a relationship with someone just because your parents don’t approve of your partner? Leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments section below!