An open letter to anyone who’s ever been the second choice

Here’s something that might be difficult to admit: at one point in our lives, we’ve all had to play the role of ‘second choice’.

Maybe your best friend had a better friend. Maybe you weren’t your parent’s favorite. Maybe the guy you liked did like you — but not enough (or not as much). Or maybe you weren’t even the owner your family pet loved most. 

(To The Girl Who Deserves More: An Open Letter)

Whatever form, however petty, it hurt.. and if you’re honest with yourself, it probably still hurts. Having to live with the knowledge that the people you cared about the most don’t feel the same way can rip you to shreds. Whether it’s happening now or five years ago, the sting stays and the scars stick. 

It’s the kind of insecurity that you may never forget. So there are two things I want you to know: 

The first is that it’s not your fault. It’s not really anyone’s fault. 

They can’t help how they feel, who they love, who makes them laugh, or who they just connect with. So with no one to blame, it becomes easy to believe that the fault falls to you.

But that’s just not true.

Some situations, some problems, can be blameless. It’s easy to point fingers in a situation that brings you pain (even when the finger is pointing at yourself) if just to find some sort of closure. It’s harder but necessary to accept that sometimes, things just don’t work out. Sometimes, things just aren’t a fit. 

(An Open Letter to Everyone Who Led Me On and Left Me Hanging)

The second thing is that you deserve more. 

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that what you’re getting as the second choice is enough to tide you over. That it’s better than nothing. You can, and will always be able to find something more in this world. You’re just looking in all the wrong places. 

For those still in this situation: either step up and ask for more or leave. For those who’ve already moved on, congratulations.

You deserve more than just the crumbs of whatever is being given. 

(We Asked: “If a partner cheats, do they deserve a second chance?” and Wow, People Have FEELINGS)

Share your own feelings on this with us in the comments! 






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