Ladies, periods suck. They’re messy, interruptive, and just make you feel ten times crankier than you usually would. Absolute worst. But we’re expected to carry on with our days anyway. We have to do make it through our days while watching for stains and muscling through our cramps. It’s unjust, I tell you.
While I think it’s complete BS that we uterus-havers have to suffer through this every month, we also prove that we can still kick ass while feeling like a gnome is punching us from the inside. We are powerful. Here are just some of the day to day tasks that become Herculean when you’re on your period.
Sleeping with your period is like a gamble for your pajama bottoms and your sheets. Are they gonna make it out of there alive? Are you going to wake up from the constant pain in your lower abdomen? Will you have to get up in the middle of the night to avoid a wardrobe malfunction? You just have to leave it to chance, really.
9. Wearing pants
Being on your period, you have to start strategizing with your wardrobe. White clothes are almost always out of the question along with pastels. But pants? Tight and constricted and risky. Would you risk your favorite jeans? And if they do get stained, it’s a warm, uncomfortable mess of cloth right up there. Worst.
8. Any workout EVER
You know what hurts? Working out. You know what hurts even more? Working out on your period. You’re already a sensitive, crampy, crave-y mess and you have to subject yourself to sweating and giving your body a harder-than-usual time. Why can’t lifting up spoons of ice cream to my mouth be exercise?
Laughing is such a RISK. You gotta avoid all your funny friends when you’ve got your bloody visitor or else you risk creating your own crime scene wherever you’re seated. One particularly strong laugh? A mistake. You must live a few days without laughter and joy. Or just be very mahinhin when laughing. Push mo ‘yan.
Another big risk after laughing. It just pushes everything that might just be gently sitting inside there. It just violently pushes it all out. All that force has gotta go somewhere and, unfortunately, that’s where it’s happening.
5. Sitting down
You gotta maneuver around just to sit down anywhere. Office chair? Gotta do some kind of kung fu movement before sitting. Desk at school? Make sure your skirt uniform will be safe when you sit. Any squishing feeling when you sit is an immediate sign of danger. Godspeed.
4. STANDING UP
What’s worse than having to sit down? Standing up. You already know when your period hasn’t made itself known while you were seated that it will try to grab your attention as soon as you are back on your feet. It’ll feel like the Niagara Falls just standing up. All that gravity will work its magic (dark magic, really) on you and you’ll have to bolt to the bathroom.
Being in a cramped, sweaty area? Already bad. But when you’re on your period it just feels like a gargantuan chore. It’s almost a punishment. Am I not already suffering? Why add to this pain I’m already feeling?
2. Thinking about what to eat
Food thoughts are a constant–period or not. But being bloated and cranky just seems to amplify that tenfold. It’s almost unfair how much you crave and how much is in your bank account right after. Can I afford all the food I’m currently fantasizing about? Probably not. Should I eat all that food anyway? Probably not either. Still, at the end of the day, I’m covered in chocolate bar wrappers and empty tubs of ice cream. Injustice.
1. Smashing the patriarchy
Smashing the patriarchy is hard enough on the regular. But when you’re keeled over and paying pink tax for products that you should be able to have access to anyway, it just makes it more difficult. Though, no matter what state we’re in, we still do a kickass job of taking down sexism day by day. We’re strong and powerful and capable of doing anything anyone else can do while on our periods. That’s pretty freakin’ fantastic.
What’s the hardest thing you’ve had to do while on your period? Let us know!