Disclaimer: The views and opinions stated in this article are solely of the writer’s and does not necessarily reflect the views of WhenInManila.com on the matter.
“Men are trash.”
These three words that are more often than not triggering to men with fragile and toxic masculinity hurt their egos so badly—but what’s funnier is their automatic, universal, and wrong response to it: “Not all men, though!”
Well, duh. Obviously. No one actually thinks all men when we say, “Men are trash.”. It’s common sense—we say it because there are enough men to make us feel afraid to walk at night, enough men to make use watch over our drinks when we go out to have fun, enough men for us to be scared of saying ‘no’ because we’re afraid they will hurt us. Just enough men to know that this is a SOCIETAL problem, and not just a personal one.
Women have to carry around pepper sprays, whistles, and alarms. We can’t take walks alone at two in the morning, we can’t check-in at a random place without worrying about a hidden camera, and we can’t stand up for ourselves when we get catcalled because there’s a chance we might get harmed. And when you say, “Not all men!” as a response to that, it’s a defense mechanism that actually translates to, “Not me! Why are you including me? I’m a good guy! I don’t harm women!”
As if you deserve a pat on the back and a gold star for not committing anything to women.
It’s not helpful. It contributes to the institutionalized violence embedded in our society and culture towards women; it allows men to shift the blame instead of acknowledging and offering anything of use to the problem.
Do men get deprived of jobs when we say "men are trash"? Do men get banned from public establishments on the basis of sex? HELL NO. Men never got treated unfairly or stripped of their rights ever since we started saying men are trash.
I can’t count how many times this has happened to me before. We don’t have to explain that we don’t actually mean all men. By being unnecessarily defensive, when someone speaks about instances of said violence, you are actually becoming part of the problem.
You don’t care about what happened to her, as long as she means you’re not included in it. As long as you voice it out.
Plus, it seems as if you’re worried about only you and your bros. “We’re good guys, stop generalizing us!” Yet women can be attacked left and right by a majority of men and you won’t care, because, like you said, not all men.
It’s true, yes. Not all men are trash—but my good guy friends don’t feel the need to defend themselves because they know they aren’t a part of the problem, and consequently, they aren’t ignoring women’s struggles. They actually agree. They don’t have fragile egos that crumble instantly when a woman so much as whispers, “men are trash.”
I don’t mean that only women are being attacked—men can be, too. It’s just that the societal problem lies in the violence against women by men, and your response of ‘not all men’ does not help.
Do you have a story for the WhenInManila.com Team? Email us at story.wheninmanila@gmail.com or send us a direct message at our WhenInManila.com Facebook Page. Interact with the team and join the WhenInManila.com Community at WIM Squad! Join our Viber group to be updated with the latest news!
When We Say ‘Men are Trash’, We Don’t Mean ALL Men—Duh!
Disclaimer: The views and opinions stated in this article are solely of the writer’s and does not necessarily reflect the views of WhenInManila.com on the matter.
“Men are trash.”
These three words that are more often than not triggering to men with fragile and toxic masculinity hurt their egos so badly—but what’s funnier is their automatic, universal, and wrong response to it: “Not all men, though!”
Well, duh. Obviously. No one actually thinks all men when we say, “Men are trash.”. It’s common sense—we say it because there are enough men to make us feel afraid to walk at night, enough men to make use watch over our drinks when we go out to have fun, enough men for us to be scared of saying ‘no’ because we’re afraid they will hurt us. Just enough men to know that this is a SOCIETAL problem, and not just a personal one.
Women have to carry around pepper sprays, whistles, and alarms. We can’t take walks alone at two in the morning, we can’t check-in at a random place without worrying about a hidden camera, and we can’t stand up for ourselves when we get catcalled because there’s a chance we might get harmed. And when you say, “Not all men!” as a response to that, it’s a defense mechanism that actually translates to, “Not me! Why are you including me? I’m a good guy! I don’t harm women!”
As if you deserve a pat on the back and a gold star for not committing anything to women.
It’s not helpful. It contributes to the institutionalized violence embedded in our society and culture towards women; it allows men to shift the blame instead of acknowledging and offering anything of use to the problem.
I can’t count how many times this has happened to me before. We don’t have to explain that we don’t actually mean all men. By being unnecessarily defensive, when someone speaks about instances of said violence, you are actually becoming part of the problem.
You don’t care about what happened to her, as long as she means you’re not included in it. As long as you voice it out.
Plus, it seems as if you’re worried about only you and your bros. “We’re good guys, stop generalizing us!” Yet women can be attacked left and right by a majority of men and you won’t care, because, like you said, not all men.
It’s true, yes. Not all men are trash—but my good guy friends don’t feel the need to defend themselves because they know they aren’t a part of the problem, and consequently, they aren’t ignoring women’s struggles. They actually agree. They don’t have fragile egos that crumble instantly when a woman so much as whispers, “men are trash.”
https://twitter.com/justsajida/status/1169291398920773632
I don’t mean that only women are being attacked—men can be, too. It’s just that the societal problem lies in the violence against women by men, and your response of ‘not all men’ does not help.
We don’t mean ALL men. Duh.
(ALSO READ: 26 Outstanding Policewomen of the Philippines)
What do you think? Let us know.
Related
About The Author
Do you have a story for the WhenInManila.com Team? Email us at story.wheninmanila@gmail.com or send us a direct message at our WhenInManila.com Facebook Page. Interact with the team and join the WhenInManila.com Community at WIM Squad! Join our Viber group to be updated with the latest news!