Chances are he’d say “We’re actually brothers(or friends or cousins, etc), but let me take care of your drinks. My name is Edoardo, by the way. You are?” And then he’d ask his cute friend in blue to come over and join you. You would even have successfully winged your girlfriend.
By doing this, you’ve successfully made the first move and made him approach you, thinking it was his idea to approach.
Another technique my female friends and I have used in the past especially while clubbing is we’d go around the club, proactively searching and exposing ourselves to guys we might like. When we’d find guys we liked, we’d dance somewhere close to those guys, not too close to make them suspect we were too aggressive, but just close enough for them to notice us. My girlfriends and I would just have fun with each other, smile, laugh, dance, drink, pretend not to notice the guys for a few minutes until we see from our peripheral visions that they’d already noticed us and were looking at us. Then I’d throw the guy I liked a seemingly serendipitous and unintentional glance, flash a vague hesitant smile, and look away to feign a bit of shyness. My girlfriend would do the same to the one she liked. Then after a few minutes or seconds depending on my reading of the situation, I’d look at the guy again this time a bit longer, while in my mind I’d be telepathically communicating to his mind to come approach me. This often works. And the guys would approach us just with this technique.
Now, sometimes, even if I did all these techniques right, there’d still be guys who either had crippling approach anxiety or maybe just didn’t find me or my girlfriends compelling enough. So they wouldn’t do the approach. And that is totally fine. You see, you can’t please everybody. You can’t make everybody like you or love you. Some will, some won’t, so what? Move on fast and say, NEXT! After all, you really only need one, unless you want two or more. *Wink*
This happens for many reasons like he probably has a girlfriend or a wife at home and he only allows himself to just look at other girls but not approach them. Or maybe his girlfriend or wife are about to come and join him, or he has certain prejudices and limiting beliefs like “girls with big boobs will just hurt me”, or “if a girl likes me, she will approach me, if she doesn’t approach me, she doesn’t like me, and I don’t want to embarrass myself by approaching her only to get rejected” or “girls with eyeglasses are snobs and I will just crash and burn if I approach her” or “girls who wear that kind of dress will only date guys richer than me”, etc.
A man’s decision whether to approach you or not is influenced by three things. They are:
- His beliefs, biases, prejudices, past experiences, and the things that he associates with girls who look and act like you;
- His state at the moment, whether he’s hungry, or drunk, or just broke up with his girlfriend, or just lost a job, or just got promoted, or just made a million bucks or just won or lost a car race, or whatever athletic competition, etc.
- You (and your game).
You are only 1/3 of the reason why he’d approach or not. So don’t take things personally. Don’t immediately prejudge that he’s not approaching you because he’s just not that into you or you’re just not that attractive enough.
Many guys don’t even know what they really want. Even David Beckham used to always say he preferred blondes over brunettes and ended up marrying a brunette.
So in case of guys not approaching me, my next action will depend on how much I really want to meet the guy. Usually, if he’s a guy who truly stirs your soul or makes you feel good inexplicable feelings, he’s probably worth doing these techniques for. So go and practice.
When I approach, I do it in the guise of asking for a small favor or a simple question like “Excuse me, do you know where the bathroom is?” or “Hi could you help me open this bottle (of water)?” or “Hey, listen, I love my coffee cold but it’s particularly cold today, do you think I should have my coffee hot or cold?” or “You look like my next ex-boyfriend.” And I’d do this with a flirty-friendly smile on my face and with flirty-friendly intention in my mind.
Once I even approached this way: I was walking with a girlfriend when we saw two guys, walking towards our direction. I found one of them very attractive so when we were about one foot away from each other, I looked him in the eye, flashed a flirty-friendly grin, waved my phone a bit and playfully asked “What’s your number? Going once… going twice…” as I continued to walk and look away.
I found the guy very attractive but because I was doing Secret 5 Numbers Game, and had so many guys on my “boylet” pool, I didn’t really care if this guy would talk to me or not. I was not emotionally attached to the outcome. I was willing to walk away. When it comes to attraction, displaying that you are willing to walk away demonstrates high value, and thus appeals to a man’s egotistical attraction triggers.
That guy, by the way, ended up taking one giant leap towards me and took my number. Trust me, you wouldn’t want to know what happened next.
“Flirting is a woman’s trade. One must keep in practice.”
— Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Brontë
